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Written by admin on December 19th, 2009

Money and Credit Issues That Can Hurt Marriages

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The New York Times ran a story on 1-November-2009 addressing the stress money issues can add to even solid marriages. It is well known that money problems are often the cause of divorces. Over the last year many households have had to deal with financial problems they could not have anticipated even 18 months ago. With national unemployment over 10 percent and rising, the number of foreclosures rising, and credit availability reduced, there are plenty of marriages that will probably not survive.

In the end, couples facing money issues can their learn to redefine their marriage within new parameters or get a divorce. There is really very little in between those two options because the in-between is frequent arguing and disengagement. Sandra Wang is a marriage therapist and certified divorce financial analyst. She provides some advice to married couples trying to keep their marriage intact despite changing financial situations.

Ms. Wang points out that when a couple finds itself coping with a reduced household income, it takes both partners readjusting their lifestyles and attitudes in order to adapt. All too often one partner will decide he or she cannot live differently and will decide to leave.

Another problem that arises when income falls or assets disappear due to falling markets is one spouse blaming the other. It is not unusual for one marital partner to have responsibility for most of the household finances including deciding on the type of mortgage. When things fall apart financially it is easy to point a finger and blame him or her for the financial disaster.

When a primary income earner loses his or her job the impact can be traumatic. How the anxiety is handled will determine if the marriage is able to endure. Many couples have learned the hard way over the last 18 months that they need to try and live below their means and not above. This is especially true if there are children. Creating an emergency fund can take much of the anxiety out of facing uncertain economic conditions.

One financial issue baby boomers are dealing with is the cost of caring for elderly parents. When a couple must help pay for long term care it can place a real financial burden on the household. In these cases one spouse often feels as if he or she is forced to choose between pleasing a husband or wife or paying for senior care for a parent. There are no easy answers but it’s important to realize that communications between spouses is critical.

As a result of the recession many couples are facing the need to rebuild credit. There are many lessons that people have learned over the last year, but if it was necessary to sum these lessons up it would be as follows: Be financially prepared for a worst case financial scenario and regularly discuss finances with a spouse. Living beyond your means is a recipe for financial disaster in the event of an economic downturn. For some the lesson was not learned until divorce hit.